Want.

>My friend, Brandy, recently posted a blog about forks in the road and not choosing the other path. I can really relate to this, especially in terms of my job. I complain about my office daily, I fantasize about what it would be like to quit, I dread going there in the mornings, and Sunday nights are just terribly depressing.

I know that I don’t want to work there for the rest of my life. Not only do I not like the work (or the people or the environment…) but it’s a small, 9-person office and there is ZERO room to grow into any other position. It’s a classic dead-end job.

The problem is that I don’t know what I do want to do. I can tell you a million things I don’t want to do:

I don’t want to work in sales.
I don’t want to work with numbers or money.
I don’t want a job that requires a lot of phone conversations.
I don’t want to work in another small office.
I don’t want to work for someone else.
I don’t want to work in another “open plan” office. (I like cubicles and privacy, dammit.)
I don’t want to deal with people and have to smile and be polite while someone yells at me and makes me feel like an idiot just because they’re the client and I’m providing a service.
I don’t want to have to go back to school.

In terms of what I like… I just don’t know. I like animals, I like writing, and I like taking pictures. I don’t want to be a vet or an author. I used to think a veterinary technician sounded like a good job for me, but apparently it pays diddly squat, and although I’m not exactly raking in the dough right now, it would still be a step down and would make paying bills a bit difficult. There is a small zoo not too far from me that hires from time to time, but they pay minimum wage. I’ve considered dog grooming, pet sitting, and every other animal-related career I can think of. Dog grooming requires a 2-week training session somewhere a few hours away (at one of the big chain pet stores), or a license if I wanted to open my own place. Pet sitting requires entrepreneurial skills that I just don’t think I have.

I like to write, but I prefer this kind of writing rather than creative, fiction writing. I don’t have enough ideas to write a book. I don’t have the background or experience to write articles.

I like taking pictures, but I don’t have any professional training, I’m not overly creative or an out-of-the-box thinker, and I don’t like editing and doing all those fancy effects that photographers seem so hung up on nowadays — what ever happened to just plain old good photos? Now you have to be versed in Photoshop and know how to basically create an entirely new photo than the one you took.

Yes, I’m lazy, and I know that’s part of the problem. I want to sit and complain and just have it all magically fixed. I want an opportunity to just *surprise!* present itself and make me happy. I know that’s not going to happen. I know that in order to change things, I have to be pro-active and DO something. It’s just so frustrating and I lose motivation so very easily.

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One thought on “Want.

  1. I can’t even begin to tell you just how much I agree with you! I have a cubicle and the company is pretty big, however, there isn’t much room for growth here either and to be honest…..I don’t want to. Credit and Collections was interesting when I started it, and some of it is with all the bankruptcy laws and stuff like that, but it’s just not for me.
    I know the only way out is to go back to school and that’s not totally out of the question but I am not going to pay for classes if I don’t know what I want to do. That is a waste of money. So I, just like you, sit and complain and do nothing to change it. I need some motivation!

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