Self-Checkout Has Saved My Life (and my girly parts)

>Seriously. Self-checkout at the supermarket is pretty much the greatest thing ever invented for someone with social anxiety. Just GOING to the supermarket can be daunting sometimes (“What if someone SEES me buying that specialty cake? They’ll know there IS NO special occasion!”), and the thought of having a stranger poke through all my food choices is enough to send me into a panic attack.

I HAVE gotten better about this, but it still bothers me sometimes, especially now that I am soooo used to using the self-checkout whenever there is one available. Unfortunately, there is no self-checkout option at Target (aka My Most Favorite Place). This causes problems when I have to buy things like pads or Immodium or other embarrassing personal things. Call me crazy, but it makes me uncomfortable for a stranger to know that I am gassy or bloated or PMSing or that I have the runs. I do the usual thing of buying 38 other items at the same time to try and hide the one or two personal items. Overall, this system works for me.

I have had a bit of a “feminine situation” happening for about the past 5 or 6 days, and unlike other times, it is not resolving itself naturally. Short of stocking up on Brillo pads and scratching my hoo-ha to death, I had to give in and buy Monistat. Oh yes, dear readers, that kind of situation. WELL. Clearly, I could not buy such a thing at Target (where it’s cheaper) and risk being judged (you KNOW they talk about you after you leave!) by the cashier (I can’t even imagine what would have happened if there were only MALE cashiers. I would have thrown it on the floor and ran.), so I had to stop at A&P instead. Luckily, they had just what I needed, and I was able to hide it in the basket under a frozen dinner and some juice. Now I am slowly on my way to recovery.

(Speaking of juice, since I am incapable of eating my vegetables like an adult, I bought myself some Apple & Eve Fruitables [yes, the ones with Sesame Street characters on the bottle] to get in some healthy veggies. It tastes much better than the V8 Splash or whatever it’s called.)

One thought on “Self-Checkout Has Saved My Life (and my girly parts)

  1. >LOL! I hear you! Panic used to always set in, for me too, especially if there weren't any female cashiers! I've faced those same dilemmas. How can I covertly get these pads into my shopping cart? Strategically disguising the Monistat between frozen diner boxes! I've literally done that! Cereal boxes work well too, nice & tall. I think I nearly passed out buying condoms (my one and only attempt at that task). It especially sucks when you're broke and can't afford to buy anything else to cammoflage the embarrassing stuff. I remember those days, in college. You're too funny!

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