>It appears that my mom is improving and she may be able to come home sometime within the next few days. She told my dad that she is “considering” finishing radiation, but that window is slowly closing and she doesn’t seem to be making any moves toward getting started again. I understand she’s scared and doesn’t want to be miserable anymore, but I hope she’s thinking about the long term outcome as well.
My mother is very stubborn and will not do something just because people want her to. She likes to do things on her terms and in her own time. Because of this, I haven’t really forced the issue with her because I don’t want her to put up a wall. I’ll admit, I’m going to be very disappointed if come Friday she has let this opportunity pass her by. It seems like she’s giving up and I can’t quite understand why. It’s not like she’s an old lady — she’s only 61 with plenty of years and experiences ahead of her, if she wants to fight for them. It tears my heart out to think that she might not be around to meet her grandchildren, not because she couldn’t be, but because she chose not to fight back.
She can beat this if she puts her mind to it. I believe in miracles, but I also believe we have to do our part and put in a little effort. No one is asking her to jump right back into chemo — in fact, her oncologist won’t even consider it right now — but I truly believe she could handle 8 more sessions radiation now that the cisplatin (chemo drug) is leaving her system. It won’t be fun, and no one is pretending it will be all sunshine and rainbows, but it’s doable.
She keeps saying that she was fine before she started the chemo and that’s what made her end up this way. She’s partially right — it was the chemo that made her so malnourished, but she definitely wasn’t ok before she started treatment either. And I don’t think she is understanding that cancer doesn’t get better or go away on it’s own. This isn’t a cold or the flu. Without treatment, she’s looking at a potentially long road of suffering worse than this ahead of her.
I don’t know how to make her realize this without it seeming like I’m pressuring her to do something she doesn’t want to do. Is it selfish of me to want her to continue treatment? Wouldn’t she want the same for me if our roles were reversed?