Friendscaping

>I used to be one of those people who wanted as many “friends” as possible on Facebook. “Oh! You were a freshman when I was a senior and I think I kind of remember you! Send friend request!” I mostly did this to stalk people and see what they are up to now. Once I felt like I learned enough about them, I would delete them. Don’t judge — you know you have done this, too.

I had a whole bunch of people I went to grammar school and with and high school with on there, but I blocked all of them from appearing on my news feed because most of their updates did nothing but annoy me. Then I started blocking them from seeing my updates. And then I began wondering why I even had them as a friend if we weren’t communicating in any way whatsoever.

Thus began my first friendscaping endeavor. I deleted several people and felt better afterward. There were still a lot of people on there that probably shouldn’t have been, but I felt like I didn’t NOT like them so there was no harm in keeping them.

Two of these people were my sorority sisters. We were pretty close in college and for the year or so after I graduated. We took a mini-vacay to FL together and used to have sleepovers and whatnot. It was good times. We started naturally drifting apart when one of them decided to become a bitch, and unfortunately she was the Common Friend — the one that we needed there for us all to get along and have things to talk about. So, with her gone, the other girl and I talked less and less frequently.

There have been lots of wall posts and text messages about how “we HAVE to get together!” but I haven’t seen her in probably 3 years. I recently found out via their status updates that they are not only talking again, but going to Miami together in a few weeks. I’ll admit I was kind of surprised, but not really hurt or anything because, hello? I’m married now and not exactly a prime candidate for drinking and clubbing and other shenanigans. I get it.

But then last week I got together for dinner with two different sorority sisters. I posted about it on FB, and one of the other girls commented, “Thx for the invite.” Really? You’re going to get snarky because you weren’t invited? Not that it matters, but I wasn’t the one who made the plans, so it wasn’t my place to invite more people. Naturally, I took the passive-aggressive route and deleted the comment because Lord knows I hate confrontation.

Yesterday I was again looking through my friends list and wondering why I had these people on it if we don’t even talk, or if I don’t have any plans of getting in touch with them any time soon. So, I deleted everyone that I haven’t had any contact with since finding them/them finding me. Now I don’t have to hide anything from anyone on my list (except one of my nosy coworkers who doesn’t have access to my status updates or my wall).

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2 thoughts on “Friendscaping

  1. >Oh I know this all to well. I really only kept an eye on the sneaky ones who like to start trouble. Lol anyway.. I have a lot of those issues with other military wives. I swear some of these ladies can be real catty. You don't get invited, yet if you don't invite them they snap at you. I also find it hilarious when you post something having nothing to do with them, yet they take it personally and yell at you. That's always humorous… deleting soon follows. Our first base left a bad taste in my mouth with military wife groups. They are often filled with psycho women looking for drama. Only a handful of them turn out to be normal.. haha.Now I'm a fan of having only real friends on my list, less drama. 🙂

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